pain pain pain.
1.5 months of medication again.
If I still dont recover = GG + will die early
Okay bye.
Quality of life > sanctity of life.

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I just found out what I would like to pursue in the later part of my life.
Will it make a difference anyway?
I doubt I can make it that far.


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Dearest uncle,

May you live comfortably in your new home.
Words that I've spoken to you in my heart, may you hear them.
RIP.


*
It got me thinking for quite some time when I stood by the coffin - where my uncle laid for the last few days.
It all seemed unreal, it was like a dream to begin with.
Why would a good man like him be "rewarded" with such an ending?
Looking back, I could still remember that my uncle's eyes turned slightly red during our last lunch: it was time for his Morphine to help him control the pain that his illness caused.
I really could not imagine the kind of pain that he is suffering 'cos I already felt like hell when I was suffering from gastritis.
All I have got to say is that life is indisputably unpredictable.
*
promise.



feel so useless 'cos I'm good at nothing except for crying. #_#

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Irked by all those acts of yours.
Was quite amazed by how people can just suck & make use of others just for their own self interests.
& acting like nothing happen? Srsly?
I-don't-get-it.

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Credits: X

mad tired!
Just back from my uncle's funeral.
hard feelings.
it doesnt feel real at all.
Perhaps, im staying overnight for the next 2 nights for the funeral.
It's the final time that im able to "see" him.

*
Hopefully im able to get my iPhone 4S soon <:
Yewtee point's SingTel does sell itm hopefully it isnt OOS?

Econs!
Finally started on my 1st CSQ!

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random:
1. When I was walking out of the lib for a toilet break, I saw my fav tr (lol!) giving consultation for his students. Then unknowingly, while walking, my water bottle hit the table. (ta ta ta)
2. At ard 4pm, when I was having Chem
Consultation w my tutor, my fav tutor walked past lol!!

I still remember that WE (lol!) gave him a teachers day.
And a ESP made red heart straw! <3

Guess I was too emotional just now.
The news really came unexpectedly. Was caught off hand.

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My Uncle just passed away after a 3 month fight w pancreatic cancer.
A truth that seems so unreal.
RIP.
& when my uncle was diagnosed w pancreatic cancer he was at the very advanced stage.
The next best option left is palliative care. For the Past Few months, When I visit him @ The hospital, he was getting frailer & frailer.
Getting thinner & thinner. The present him wasn't what was pictured in my mind.

In July, both of us were diagnosed w gastritis & that time we were still comparing our med uh! That was the last time he came to our house & will never be able to anymore.
Our last lunch was somewhere in sept & will never be able to eat Tgt w him anymore.
I really regretted not gg to the hosp ytd to
See him for the last time 'cos I was feeling nauseous.
damn it.

The truth seems unbelievable.
The fact that he was diagnosed w cancer was like a fallacy to begin with.
& now the truth that always seems illusionary has to be accepted.

& the kinship that binds us together.
RIP.

Death eventually comes to us one day.
It's sometimes that we can't avoid.

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Anyw I think my Chem tutor is quite nice lol!
She said that she ll get back to me regarding the qn that I've asked ( 'cos she couldn't give a definite ans at that point of time ) & she rlly did! & this is not the first time uh.
I know sometimes I've a super foul mouth uh.
I like to speak what I rlly want to @ times & words can get nasty ESP when I'm in a bad mood.

A's in 13 days & I rlly don't feel the urge srsly.
Someone just punch me hard pls.
Yes I'm doing work but my pace is like slower than a 100000 years old Turtle.
I still have topics that I know nuts about.
I should rlly have a goal to motivate me. But what I'm afraid is that I can't achieve my goal & I ll be demoralized uh.
So status quo? - do what you can.
& I know getting into a local U is still an uncertainty to me.
Btw side tracking, I think I've got lenient markers for my prelim that's why I can pass them all rlly!
Okay, I think my mom is mentally prepared that I couldn't get into a local U.
Cos she once said this, "your results can Get into local U?" - after looking @
My results slips.

I know I will def regret when I get back my A level results, I cn foresee that.
I ll be like why diden I study harder preserve and stuff like that. Then I ll be coming up w excuses like my health have been giving me shit.

Oh well, I diden expect myself to type so much. Too much thoughts in my mind.


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Should I Recontract w singtel for iPhone 4S or change contractor?
Waiting for starhub to unveil their 4S price plan.
-I suck at making decisions-

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Underlying Meaning:
No need to study for GP.
To what extent is this True?
How far to you agree to this?
Lolzdvbnkkwkwhwh.

*
I think my colon got prob.
Ok bye.

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Why my body so weak one.
Sore throat and headache.
Zzz.
Sleep so much also sick.
Sian.
Yawn.

I feel dumb.
I mean I am dumb. Brainless.
Bye.


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Yum jumbo crab!
Since long I've eaten a crab ~~

Out whole day, lotsa work to do.
Btw I said I wanna write 2compre & AQ bef the A approaches. But I haven't started on one yet. I guess the bare minimum that I should do is one essay and one AQ lol. Lol. Lol.

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Lol, I spent 1hr + squeezing those shit in my face. Now there's some red patches lol lol.
Awesome weather for some sleep.
Mac breakfast tml?

-still feeling unwell, generally, been 4+ months, wait 10days more for my report, why so long-


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When A is making use of B, A just hope to suck whatever B has.
Selfish ass.
So does B still allow himself/itself/herself/whateverself to be made use by A?
Why does A exist?
Hah, to make this world a better place.
#joke much. ==''

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iPhone 4S with SIMI voice control by edvarcl

THIS IS SO FUNNY LOL!

Chemistryyyy.
Sometimes I feel dumb 'cos I don't understand the answer when the answer supposedly should help me to understand what the question is asking?
Idk what I'm saying too.
Why physical & inorganic chem so tough one?
Organic qn are much more appealing to my eyeballs.
Deductive qn are easy to score if the starting point is correct, if not bye bye.
How nice would a chem paper be if it were to be all organic qn (except proteins 'cos that sucks).

All I could say was that I started studying way too late.
Thinking that there's ample time left.
Obviously I was living in my small little lonely and miserable world.
I have lots of studying to do, like seriously.
I haven't done cse & Econ for a long long time.

Okay bye I'm literally 'dark' when I'm typing this.
Yawnzxccvbnmznwkkwownsj.

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Awesome night! (:

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Need to have more fibre intake if not I can't shit lol lol.... & the constipated feeling is just so suckyyyyyyyyyyy.

Sleeping in my mom's room tonight 'cos her room is colderrrrrrrrrr.

Mac breakfast awaiting me tml byeeeeee

Yawnnnnnnnn lolxzxcccccccc.
#joke.


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Super hot night & Occasional pain.
I could feel my new layers of fatssssss around my """" when I bend down.

Gosh
Seriously ==

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Archaic Air con.
Turned in on for 30mins & I feel like I'm in a sauna ==


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$0.53 more bef I can cash out my 2nd nuffnang cheque.
It's been so longgggggggg.
Click on those ads?
lol.

Gonna post those farewell pix soon.

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iPhone 4 or 4S?
Price is gonna play a determining role. Lol.

Yesterday was farewell assembly.
Guess it was not much a different except that there's no more formal lessons.
After that went SGH to visit my uncle.
Oh well.
Dying people want to live, ironically, living people want to die.
Guess we don't have much say as to when to part this world.

A's in 20+ days' time.
I need more stress & pressure please.
I'm damn slack at home please.

On another note, I passed my Prelims.
Kinda unexpected 'cos I did not spend much time studying.
Body is feeling like shit till now.
Making trips to hospital weekly/fortnightly.
Could still remember those days whereby I kept lying in bed 'cos I was feeling damn nauseous.
Surviving w a few mouthfuls of porridge for days.
Shittyzxness.

Hospital called me ytd but I missed the call.
Is it a good/bad sign that the hospital called?
Guess it's a not so good one?
Whatever it is, it's gonna be a fact soon.
31oct ~~

Mixed mixed mixed.

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Small actions shows a lot.
Seriously.


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See my awesome CSE grade please 9.8 percentile.
When I let my mom sign on the result slip, she asked if my Chinese was B+.
Cute or not lol when it's printed B.

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Scan in a few hours' time.
Hope everything turns out well?
Self-deceiving 'cos i just dont feel well for the past 3-4 months.
Hope im able to accept the cold hard truth in a few hours' time?

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